December 29, 2009

life's candy and the sun's a ball of buttaa

First of all, I woke up with "Don't Rain On My Parade" stuck in my head yesterday. I felt like that had to be a good sign for 2010. But so far, twentyten (thats how I say it - and I think you should too) has been a lot like 2009. Not in a really terrible way so much as in a just-because-we-write-a-different-year-on-our-checks-doesn't-mean-our-lives-are-dramatically-altered, kind of way. I suppose this was to be expected. Weird.
However, I know a LOT of people for whom 2009 was not terribly fun. I realize that yes, there were parts which were not heinous, but a lot of the parts were pretty un-fun. That said, I know that many of us (myself included) are hoping, praying, begging, pleading, for a really fantastic twentyten. That's a lot of pressure to put on a change of date.
Transitions are never good for me. In fact, I think it is fair to say that transitionally speaking, I am legitimately awful. I deal poorly with big change. There are many reasons this is the case, but I think the most pronounced is the fact that at each transition, I am faced with myself: who I am now as opposed to before. What I did last time, how I failed in this span of time, what resolutions I failed to accomplish, how little I have grown, as I see it. I am not particularly nice to myself as it is, but it is at these times that I become particularly hateful. I give myself a once-over and see all the things I didn't get done since last year, since last graduation, or whatever. I am overcome with a sense of the time I have wasted, the things that I still, yes still, struggle with, the many ways in which I have let myself, God, everyone else, down. Harsh? Overly critical? A little ridiculous and irrational? Perhapsicle. But if I told you that anything different was happening in my brain, I would be a big fat liar.

For this reason, I do not believe in New Years resolutions. It's like saying, "Hey, I have an awesome idea - lets make a list of things I probably won't do this year, so that when the year is over, I have an actual, pre-written checklist of reasons I suck. Hooray!" No thank you. I do, however, like the thought of a new year. I also like the thought of a new phase of life in which for the first time ever, I am not a student. I am well on my way to grownup-hood! And I like this. While my instincts tell me to panic doubly over twentyten and graduation, I am resisting (i.e. breathing into a paper bag every few minutes). Here are some things that I am excited about doing/trying in this, the new year.

- Learn to play the Ukelele, and get really good at it.
- Get a library card. Allison and I say pretty much every day, "we really need to go get library cards." Then we don't. So now this is my life goal for 2010.
- Write more... but seriously. Now that I'm out of school forever, this feels like something I want to do more. So I will. Boom, roasted.
- Do more things I like a whole lot. This list might or might not include: wearing blue nail polish; hanging out with people who make me laugh ALL THE TIME; as of last night, playing Rock Band goes on this list... I will sing my heart out with reckless abandon; also, along the same lines - I will sing more karaoke, I think; I'll wear things I like without wondering if other people will; I will be freer, generally speaking.
-OH! And most importantly, we decided that high-fiving is SO 2009. In twentyten, we face-kiss. So, for those of you for whom physical touch is not your love language - prepare to be wildly uncomfortable.

Generally speaking, I want to do more of these things: enjoy, love, laugh, do, play, sing, appreciate, listen, tell the truth, affirm, comfort, hug, face-kiss, challenge, be challenged, create, write, pray. Among other things. I will be a busy girl in twentyten.

The moral of the story is that I want to not make changes out of the place that says: you need to fix/change/get better, generally speaking - but from a place that is exciting, new, full of new, cool stuff.

and in closing:

get ready for me love, cause I'm a comer
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer!
nobody, no, nobody is gonnaaaaa rain on my paraaaaaaaaaaade

December 10, 2009

things I am anti

People have different ways they say this - for me, it is things I am anti. Such as, I am anti- fill-in-the-blank. For my friend Beckie Vicky (I think she's going to love that shout out), it's a list of Life Rules (for example, as a rule, Beckie V does not eat ketchup or play volleyball). On SNL it's "REALLY????" with Seth and Amy. After discussing Beckie's life rules the other day, and after making several "no, sorry, I'm anti-whatever" statements lately, I decided that it would be a good decision to compile a list.

I am anti: encased meats.
Sausage, hot dogs, bratwurst (oooh especially bratwurst) are on my list of things I cannot make myself eat. Once in a very blue moon I will eat a hot dog - but bratwurst and sausage really gross me out. Then recently I discovered that there are actual factories which produce casings for these meats. Meat that's encased. GROSSSSSSSSSS. I think now I will just embrace this about me and never eat encased meats ever again. I am highly and vehemently anti encased meats.

I am anti: paying for airport transportation/airport parking.
This is why we have friends, people. When I meet someone, I think to myself, "I better be nice, because someday, I might need a ride to or from the airport, and this person might be the only one not in class/at work/washing their hair when I need to go." It angers me when people pay for taxis or super shuttles or, even worse, God forbid - for PARKING at the airport. I mean really. Have we spoken/hung out more than once? Are we Facebook friends? Good enough for me. I'll take you. Buy me a drink sometime and we'll call it even.

I am anti: processing fees and charges when purchasing online.
Literally, there are few things that get me AS worked up as ticket charges and processing fees. Yesterday I bought a ticket to a concert online that was $13.00. When all was said and done, I was paying nearly TWENTY FIVE dollars for that damn ticket. Here's the thing. If they said, "this ticket costs $25," I wouldn't care. I would pay with a smile on my face and be thrilled for that concert. I'd never know the difference. But just the fact that I start at $13 and end up over $10 higher in the end infuriates me! I try whenever I can to purchase the tickets AT the theater, thus avoiding these charges, but in order to keep Ticketmaster in business, the theaters' available times for ticket purchases are something like every third Wednesday from 3:45-3:46 AM, or when the temperature is precisely at 21.5 degrees, or whenever there's a full moon. Thanks, theater. That's helpful.

I am anti: poor grammar, misspelling names, and most text/internet abbreves.
1. Try as I may, I cannot send an email until I know all of the punctuation is in the right place, the wording is ideal for the point I'm trying to make, and everything grammatically makes sense. 2. I can't handle it when people send me emails/facebook messages and spell my name wrong. My name is right there. Spelled correctly. In my email address. Which you had to type in correctly to get this email to me. So why, then, did you begin with, "Hey Meeaghane!" 3. I also have a very low tolerance for these phrases: LOL (and anything else that falls under the I'm-laughing-so-hard-I-can't-even-type-out-all-the-words umbrella); 1 letter substitues for real words; Luv as a substitute for Love. Now let me be clear - it doesn't really bother me when other people do this (ok sometimes it does - but not very often, so don't get a complex about it like I did about using emoticons when BV told me she hated them), I just can't do it. I've tried, too - I've typed texts with those things in them, but I can never press send. If I did, I think I would immediately have to send a retraction text. "wtf was that txt b4? R U serious? IDK wut i was thnking. LOLOMG."

I am anti: abiding by any kind of schedule.
Some people call this disorganized or scattered or irresponsible - I call this that I am just a whole other breed of control freak. Bear with me here: I make a schedule, or I have a general plan for my day. On my way to whatever I'm doing, I'll start shifting things around (this usually happens in the car) and making a new plan. "Well, I'm supposed to see kid A at 11. But if I saw kid B at 10 then I could be writing a treatment plan for kid C by 11 and then see kid A on Thursday because I have that hour of free time anyway... yes, that is a far better plan." Nonsensical? Yes. At the end of the week, the same things have been accomplished. But it always makes me feel really cool and powerful, like I'm bartering on what I will or won't get done in a given day. Only in the end, I'm bartering with myself, which isn't all that exciting and doesn't make me very powerful at all. And still it remains: I am anti schedule.

I am anti: men wearing sleeveless shirts.
I just think it's wrong. And gross. The ONLY time it is moderately acceptable is in some kind of sports/gym situation, and even here it's a grey area, and you probably still look like a tool.

I am anti: texting as a form of legitimate communication.
This is starting to have to change - because the world is now operating in such a way where texting is a legitimate method of communicating. Before, it was a way to say funny things or maybe send a reminder every now and then. Now I'm getting babysitting jobs where our only communication is a few texts before I show up to watch their children. I'm having important, meaningful conversations in 160 characters or less. Boys are asking girls on dates in TEXTS! Close friends send birthday wishes in a teeny tiny (and unsatisfying) text. Entire relationships begin and end with a few nonchalant text messages. And do not even get me started on sexting. Whereas before a text was an easy, breezy, beautiful (yes) way to say something, now it takes 20 minutes to formulate a clever, witty response that appears breezy because a text is just as valid as a face-to-face interaction. You have to wait a certain amount of time so you appear aloof and moderately busy and important. Nothing is easy anymore. That's the moral of this story.

I'm sure there are more. Let me know if you think I missed anything crucial.

December 3, 2009

oh, NOW I get it.

"If it's great reverence you're looking for, or earnest expressions of gratitude -
well, then, you don't work with kids." - Curtis Sittenfeld

clear as day.