September 22, 2008

Breaking News: Gus Gus Dies Slowly in Near-Fatal Mousetrap Murder

SAYONARA, SUCKA!
Let me tell you the gruesome tale of Gus Gus's tragic end. (Warning - not for the faint of heart.) Last night I am sitting in bed when I hear it - the sound I have been dreading - the SNAP of the TRAP which is within eyeshot of my bed. I look over - and there is Gus Gus. But no - it would have been too simple for it to end there. He was only INJURED in the trap - and not even stuck in it. So I scream (naturally) and call (on the phone) Susan - who is upstairs and who I am hoping is not asleep. She gets out of bed and comes down... we both panic and try to get him but all the while we're freaking out - and he kind of hobbles away (they're quick even when they're injured.) We chased him until he ran under the dryer - FOILED AGAIN! My hope was that his injuries would be too severe to last very much longer. We went to bed. (Mind you, hours later - I was horrified.)
This morning, I walk out of my room into the basement and THERE HE IS - breathing his last in the middle of the floor. HO-LY CRAP. And now, clearly I am alone with no moral support - I panic (shocking) and trap him under a pot we had on the table, and call Mom. Gory details spared, I stepped up to the plate, got the little piece of crap in a bag, tied it, and ran the fastest I have ever run (ever) to the dumpster.

Rest in peace, you little terror. I certainly will.

3 comments:

Kelly Marhaver said...

I lol-ed at this. hahahahahhah bf. omg.

Elaine said...

I am so glad the terror is over! You are a brave girl. I have picked up special friends that the dogs have brought in...squirrels, birds, rabbits...but they were always completely dead!

Now put a lid on that dog food so you don't get another one!! :)

Carrie said...

So glad that your horror is over. :) And that it was you and not me....